True Self.:)

Unconditional love :)

2011-10-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

*chuckles*Babe,it was terrible. I LOVE YOU.*chuckles again*

I heard these lines last Saturday when my churchmates and I went to Lago del Rey - a manmade lake with lots of inflatable objects. I just couldn't help but smile. The girl was trying to do a stunt. She was jumping over a stick, but unfortunately, she kept on falling. Her American boyfriend/husband/sweetheart was watching her and just kept on laughing and laughing. They hugged each other after that. aawww.:p

Okay, just so you know, I am not cheesy. Maybe just a little?haha
I was touched because the lines were meaningful. It's so not true that love is blind. Get real, man. Unconditional love is not blind. It sees things as they are, but chooses to accept them. When you love someone, you know his weaknesses and you know how terrible that person can be, BUT you choose to love him anyway. You do not pretend that he is perfect and that he doesn't have any flaws. He could be this and that. He could be stubborn sometimes, he could be... whatever negative trait you can think of, but it doesn't matter. That wouldn't change your love for him.

As a christian, God made me realized that it is so hard to love someone unconditionally on your own. We could love because God loved us first. God is the greatest example of unconditional love. His love never ceases to amaze me. I am captivated by His love.<3 I am a sinner and I've hurt Him so many times already. He knows every black spot of my heart, but never did He condemn me. He has cleansed me. I am free. Oh Yes, chains are broken. :]

It is now so easy to love others. Loving others overflows in my heart and it's all because of Jesus. (LOVE YOU SO MUCH, JESUS!) Of course, loving doesn't mean you tolerate the wrongdoings of others. If you really love someone, you wouldn't flatter him. You would be real to him and would rebuke him if the situation calls for it. You would want what's best for him. There is so much risk in speaking truth to someone but because you love him so much, you still take that risk.<3

That my friend, is unconditional love.

Good bye insecurities.:)

2011-10-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hey. Why am I so conscious with my style of writing? Why can't I just write whatever I want to? The truth is, whenever I write an essay, a research paper, a reaction paper or just about anything, I do not like showing it to my friends. I feel like it's not good enough or my grammars are wrong or whatsoever. I think too much. I wasn't like this before. When I was still in high school, I wrote in my blogs many times and I usually would hope that many people would be able to read them. I didn't care what they might think of my blogs as long as I was able to express myself. Oh please, let me be like that again.

I do not want to be insecure. I have a lot of friends who are really good writers. And when I say good, it really means GOOD! They are just so spontaneous in expressing themselves and they are very creative. Thank you God for blessing them with that kind of talent. Many times did I plan on writing a note in FB but it never happened. I would always tell myself that I would have lots of running sentences and as I said before, wrong grammars.

However, God rebuked me. When I write, who am I pleasing, God or men? It should be God. It should always be Him. I should never be insecure. I am unique and wonderful. God enables me to do things that I never thought I could do. I should not be ashamed of my writing. I should not let the devil tell me that I am not good enough. Yes, on my own I am nothing. On my own, I could never be good enough. On my own, life's challenges are impossible to overcome. BUT with God, now that's a different story. With God, I can do anything. He empowers me. He strengthens me. He gives me courage and confidence. He gives me everything I need. I live for you, God. From now on, I will not be ashamed to write my testimonies about how good You are and how You've been faithful to me. Your love overflows in me. I want the whole world to know about Your abundant grace and unfailing love.

I choose to fix my eyes on You. I no longer care what others might think of me - about my writing, my weaknesses, etc. All that matters is that I glorify You in everything that I do. You own me God and I live for You and You alone.<3

If I were the President of the Philippines…

2009-09-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

If I were the President of the Philippines…

.....To become a president of a country is not an easy job, I tell you. You must be constantly updated and understand everything that is happening not only inside your country but also to countries around the world. You must be good in negotiating and interacting with the other countries in terms of the economic development, debt servicing, etc. The welfare of your countrymen is your top priority. The education, agriculture, economy, infrastructure, food, employment, environment, industry and a whole lot more should be dealt and administered with the best interest of the majority or better yet, all of the people. It takes a lot of courage and motivation to become a president for you are representing your country and the people rely greatly on you. You must also withstand all the criticisms thrown at you for surely whatever way you are running your country, there will always be people against you and your administration.

.....Being the President of the Republic of the Philippines is a big challenge and responsibility I am ready to undertake and stand for. It is true that corruption in the government has been going on in the past administrations but it will stop now. I won’t cheat on my own people. I will make sure that the money will be held by the right and honest people. It is very idealistic but not impossible. Someone has got to start changing the old government system where only the elite and the wealthy people are given the opportunity to rise in their positions and are recognized. I won’t be bribed by people. I would always have a complete transparent transcript of all my expenditures every year so that people will really see my transparency and honesty as a president. I have run for presidency not for my own interest but to lead and serve my people.

.....There are so many problems in the Philippines that need to be given attention and solutions to that are not just short-term. Debt has been a major burden in our country for many years. The government has been spending more on debt payments than on health and education combined and that is why debt servicing would be a top priority. A large proportion of the country's debt was accrued under the Marcos dictatorship and has been rising steadily. More than half comes from foreign debt. A possible effective solution could be to raise revenues, cut borrowings and control debt service. But it is not as easy as it sounds. Raising revenues for sure would make the people react negatively about it for there is already such thing as the E-VAT. So long as our debt service remains uncontrolled, any sort of measures on the revenue side, such as more effective tax collection, tobacco and alcohol taxes, or the value-added tax will have little impact in terms of stabilizing government finances. Borrowing from foreign and local creditors is needed to stay current on our debt servicing and to enable the government to keep on functioning. I believe that the government should not rely too much on borrowing but on fund-raising projects that would benefit and help a lot of people. Local industries will be given priority so that the money will circulate well inside the Philippines and at the same time will provide employment to people. Paying all the debts of the Philippines can not be done overnight. Different sectors like education, agriculture and forestry, fisheries, health, environment, mining, industry, tourism can help in paying our debts if these will be properly handled and prioritized.

.....Education will be highly prioritized. More and more children are deprived of proper education and out-of-school youth are also increasing every year. 50% of the budget every year would be allotted for education. We need more schools to accommodate these young people, classrooms conducive for effective learning, more teachers with their deserved wages, more books and school supplies and more scholarship programs. I also value quality education so it is not just a matter of all the students having the opportunity to go to school but also the kind of learning they get. The students will be trained to be globally competitive and equipped. School fairs and educational seminars and programs that will involve students having the experience of teaching children who are not in school and out-of-school youth are highly encouraged. I would implement a law that does not require the students from all public schools from kindergarten to tertiary to wear their school uniforms together with black shoes and white socks because this can be an additional burden to some parents who can’t afford to provide uniforms for their children. We need to be practical. It would not be purely academics but sports and other extra-curricular events will be highlighted and promoted. It would not just be inside the school but in the society as a whole. The people especially the youth should always be put into action so that they would not become idle and they would be productive. This is also a way for them to stay away from vices and become too addicted in the cyber world. This would also lessen crimes. Recreational parks and more libraries will be made so as it will be accessible to more people even the ones in the rural areas.

.....However, it is not only our education that needs to be prioritized but also in the sector of agriculture. We are an agricultural country so it is very important to make sure that the agricultural lands are being maximized. We can only do this by providing more machinery that will lessen the work of the farmers but still have greater mass production than the manual farming. The irrigation and fertilizer subsidies will be continually supported. There would also be programs and seminars that aim to educate farmers so that they would be knowledgeable with the different kinds of effective farming and techniques. In terms of forestry, I will not tolerate big time loggers and commercial miners to destroy our forest. Our country should stop giving land areas of considerable sizes to foreign companies for them to manipulate. We should be the one manipulating and maximizing our own land and benefiting from the natural resources it gives. I will strictly implement punishment against illegal logging and excessive mining. Also in fisheries, use of dynamite will be strictly prohibited and other illegal practices. The Filipinos should be well-disciplined. Our environment is already degrading. The laws about no littering, spitting, vandalism and other inhumane acts that destroy our environment will have corresponding fines just like in Singapore. It is time that the people should not be lenient about it and take these things seriously. Reforestation is very important. There would be many activities that promote and encourage people to participate in tree plantings, clean drives, recycling and other clean and green projects.

.....Moreover, overpopulation has been the usual blame of the government on why many are experiencing poverty and severe hunger. As the president of the Philippines, I do not blame the people. It is in my government on how we lead the people that will either break or make of the country. Overpopulation is not the problem but the proper distribution of lands. There are so many squatter areas but there are also many lands that are idle and are not being used. As what I’ve said before, we should maximize all our lands. The overpopulation will be an advantage of the country rather than a problem. I highly encourage and challenge Filipinos to have businesses of their own. There would be a budget allotted for Filipinos who want to start their own businesses so that they will have a capital. This would provide more employment and many people will become productive. There would be a lot of programs that will help them on how to start their own businesses and this would be a good training to Filipinos to be globally-competitive when it comes to industries.

.....The Philippines should learn to be independent and not rely too much on other countries like the U.S. We are rich in natural resources that are enough to provide our basic needs. Instead of selling raw materials to other countries and buying from them the already finished products, our country should be the one to manufacture these materials. There are many opportunities for new jobs. We just have to be creative in finding new possible jobs and other projects that will increase the productivity level of people. As the president, I could not do this alone. We need to have cooperation and determination that our economy can really rise and sustain. I am all for sustainability. We should not just think of the present and should not compromise the future of the generations to come. The senate, the congress, and all the officials and leaders of our country should help me in making good and beneficial programs. I challenge the youth to keep on fighting for what you believe in. Be a good leader in your own community. Be a role model. The country needs new fresh ideas and perspectives about things for the improvement and betterment of it. I encourage intellectual contests that motivate the minds of these young people to think of creative and effective projects and suggestions and ideas for new possible policies and solutions to the problems of today. I will surely listen. I am an open-minded person. Criticize me when I am wrong that I might know what to correct and improve and at the same time to defend myself if I am the one who is right.

.....I will not be blinded by the reality that our country is really suffering and that’s why we all need to move. I still have many programs and laws that will be implemented in terms of health, tourism and the other sectors and these will only be successful if you will cooperate. I will lead and proudly represent our country but dear countrymen; you must do your part too.

Word count: 1679 words

ikaw iskolar...

2009-07-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

Ikaw Iskolar, Aktibista ka ba? :
A Forum on the History, Essence and Forms of Activism in U.P.

.....Before I entered the University of the Philippines, I can always hear many ideas of people about this school. The common stereotypes are nerd, genius, geek, smart, intelligent-I think I am speaking of the intellectual too much. Well, one thing that really is distinct about the students of U.P. is that they really speak-out their minds. They are aware and vigilant of the current issues and they fight for what they believe is right. Many people I know always tell me to be very careful in U.P. because I might get brainwashed and be led astray to wrong beliefs and ideas where there is no such thing because I believe that all ideas are correct according to your own thinking and we all have different opinions. It’s just a matter of knowing what to take in and learn from or not. They generalize that students there are all activists and usually join the rallies and a lot of student strikes. Not all are activists but yeah, rallies are already part of the lifestyle of many of the students. What I certainly admire about this prestigious school is that freedom of speech is very much exercised and respected.

.....I am just a freshie now but I really learn a lot, not just inside the class but most importantly, the things happening in our society. I admit that when I was just in high school, I was not interested on the news. I will only listen or read the news when it was required on a certain subject. I was only interested at the entertainment portion of the newspaper. I was most of the time ignorant and surprised when the news finally reached me. But I am so glad that I am no longer like that today. U.P. has really inspired me. I already have the desire to update myself as much as possible and if I can not watch the TV patrol or read the newspaper, I would just read from the internet just so I am not left behind.
There are usually papers given away at the AS, the CAL or everywhere almost everyday. Small papers that talk about big and important issues like taking action on cha-cha and the (mis)education, babaeng nakakadena who are Karen and Sherlyn, asserting the student’s right to representation and so much more. I am always eager whenever I receive these papers because I want to hear the opinions and ideas of the different students to widen my perspectives and help me criticize my own judgments as well on things.

.....I got to ask my grandmother who is a graduate of UP about the condition of the university during her time. I asked her if even at her time, there were already rallies and strikes just like today. She told me no. I was surprised because it was the time of President Marcos and I was wondering how could that possibly be. She explained to me that it was before the martial law and the students were still satisfied with the system. How different it is now. Almost all the students now are not satisfied. More and more people are protesting about the 300% tuition increase and other matters which are greatly affecting the education.

.....When I first heard about the seminar, “Iskolar, aktibista ka ba?” I did not know whether to say yes or no because honestly speaking, I don’t want to join rallies and I believe that there are other ways of showing your protests and love for your country other than joining the rallies. The usual interpretation of people including me when you talk about activism is that it always have to do with rallies. After the seminar, I have learned more what it is to be an activist. Mr. Dante Ambroiso of the dept. of History defined activism as protests and a need for change. But at the same time it’s not just about contradicting something but also giving an alternative or a solution to the problem. You don’t protest just for the sake of getting heard or known but rather you do it because you know other ways on how to solve the issue on hand or how to deal with it. It’s true that the students before were usually the sacrificial lambs and that is still true today. The parties explained that it is not just because youth is the future of the generation but the idealism that is intact in you. I have observed this on some forums and sites on the internet. One particular forum involved alumni of U.P. They were talking about their experiences in college and their present situation. They said that before, they were also very idealistic about the Philippines and they wanted to serve their own land but as they graduated and faced the real world, they have become realistic and practical in life. In order for them to survive and support their family, they have to work abroad or foreign companies. So where’s the idealism now? I believe that despite being realistic, deep down in you, you can still be hopeful and dream what you have dreamt before. Never get tired reaching your aim in life. Make it your motivation to keep on going forward. There shouldn’t be an exception on who can only participate or become active in our society because as a member of it, we have the responsibility to move.

.....All the three parties did not have any concrete or clear definition of activism and when asked which has the best form, they said there isn’t let alone better because there’s no higher key. They respect each other’s reforms. It’s how you address the issue that is important. They all have the same goals and visions, it’s how they plan to reach them and solve the current issues that they vary. Mr. Rain Sindayen from the Stand-Up party believes that activism isn’t nice because it is not convenient. You are acting because you are looking at the long-term effects. He also believes that mass demonstration is not the way because you will only get what they are capable of giving. He may have a point but he can not say that mass demonstration has never been effective because it has during the people power and the people have gotten what they wanted. But of course we also have to be practical; we can’t expect that every time we go on rallies or strikes, we can have what we asked for. There is such thing as the participatory mode where you yourself have to change too and have motherhood values like patience and honesty because in doing so, you will influence many people to do the same which will eventually revolutionize the society for the better. You can not just do it on your own so you must be organized in order to mobilize effectively.

.....The Kaisa party which is represented by Ms. Kriska Kalingking showed 3 kinds of people: a philanthropist where you just give fish to the needy, a developer where you teach people how to do it and a liberalizationist where you explain why you are doing it and at the same time you teach and help. A developer and liberalizationist are what we should be if we really want to be a true activist. You need to have a sense of activity to be able to push your goal and a sense of politics to be constantly aware of the current issues. The party believes that U.P. people are not apathetic because in nature we react and it is within us. It’s how we react that matters. We can react without doing anything. It depends on the person. Change is within all of us. Being an activist, you excel toward progress and you become part of the change in society. You can be an activist not just through rallies but through conversations, blogging where you share your knowledge and ideas to make other people think and informed, writing articles and many other simple ways to make the people vigilant and knowledgeable. In order for our public sphere to be strong, we must give attention to deliberation dialogue, proper agreements and engagements. We must be involved and not be ignorant.

.....As iskolars ng bayan, we should use the intellect as the primary tool for social change. We must educate ourselves first for us to understand more our rights as citizens and know our responsibilities. We need to be critical and analyze everything so that we will not easily be fooled and we can give good ideas and possible solutions to the problems. I have learned that we must look beyond the memorized script and the platforms and look at the sincerity and real purpose of what there is. We must also see beyond the personality and look back to the principles. Voting will exercise our right and increase the accountability. Keeping this in mind while choosing the next President for our country will indeed help us. Political parties seem the same but you can see the real difference on how they analyze and deal with the issues responsibly.

.....There are so many kinds of activism and it is a choice if you want to be an activist. It is voluntary. You must have your heart on it and not because you were forced to. Now I know what to answer when asked if I am an activist. Yes I am, but in my own way. I will defend myself and let not my rights be stepped on and let the truth always prevail despite how small it may seem.

words: 1620 words

am i a filipino?

2009-07-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

Am I a Filipino?

.....Ever since I was a child, every flag ceremony we will always sing the National Anthem. It’s like an obligation we must do whether we liked it or not. I admit that even if we have sung it for hundreds of times already, I can’t really understand what it says. The words are deep and not commonly used. I can understand the anthem better when it has a visual presentation showing the heroes who died fighting for our country, the beautiful sceneries and of the Filipinos from different regions with their rich culture. I think of what happened in the past and how every one of them contributed and helped in the sweet freedom we are experiencing now.

.....Thanks to our history teacher, nationalism and patriotism is always described and molded in us. Nationalism is supposed to objectify one’s sense of belonging to the nation while patriotism defines one’s love for one’s country. Knowing that we were born in our own nation, we are driven by love to do great things for the betterment of our country. When Manny Pacquiao wins many awards internationally, Leah Salonga sings on Broadway, Charice Pengpenco discovered and shown at “Oprah” and “Ellen” shows and other Filipino artists and achievers on their fields known in the whole world, we can’t help being proud and wanting our heart to shout, “I am a Filipino!” … But for how long? After all these, the tedium of daily life takes over and the feeling of dissatisfaction and weariness comes back, so that the same old feeling would have died out as fast as it comes. We are again drowned by the all-familiar refrain of kidnapping, corruption scandals, bombing and killing of innocent lives, severe poverty, the never-ending chaos and currency crises.

.....Sad to say that many people today are ashamed to admit that they are Filipinos. The fervor to fight for one’s country becomes apathy. The zest and passionate conviction of yesterday do not hold much to us anymore. Yesterdays have actually painted or shaped the way we are. The sacrifice and the deeds of the people before would just be another page in history books. Only a few hearts are that willing to follow the footsteps of our heroes. I am not saying we have to die for our country or give our everything just to show our love for the Philippines. We have to really know and fully understand what happened in the past so that we will know how to face and handle our present and future and to get to know ourselves completely. Knowing ourselves come from the willingness to accept new circumstances and the courage to leave what is unfavorable behind. We should not see our heroes as perfect and impeccable icons because they are humans too with dark histories but rather see them as people who have struggles just like us and learn from their mistakes and admit where we had erred. Only then can we correct the flaws and avoid the history from repeating the wrong things of the past. We have to reflect, rejoice and remember what it is to achieve freedom so that we will have that fervent desire to really reach for it.

.....We may think that we are already free from the bondage of the countries that captured us, in a sense we are but not totally. Unconsciously, we still let others control us. We still have that colonial mentality. Most of the time we prefer imported goods and with brands rather than our own products. Hey there’s nothing wrong with that. I admit I do too sometimes. I don’t want to be a hypocrite you know. What I am just telling is that despite all these, we should not forget our own-our land, our people and our identity as Filipinos.

.....I have mentioned before in my recent journal, “Chinese everywhere” that I have Chinese blood in me and many people mistaken me as Chinese. You know what I always say to them?

“I may look like a Chinese but my is full Filipino.”

.....It is with the heart that can really tell who you really are. It’s not Filipino foods you eat like adobo, sinigang, dinuguan or the culture or traditions that you do and have grown up to that can distinguish you as a Filipino. Maybe part of it but in the end, it all comes back to you. You are the one who decides what citizenship you want and what nation you want to LIVE for. I am a Filipino not because I was born in the Philippines or my family and friends are Filipinos but because I chose to be one. I love and care for my own nation and I am not ashamed of it. I will not die for the Philippines but rather live for it so that death won’t stop me from continuously serving my country, my life.

Word count: 825 words

chinese everywhere

2009-07-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

CHINESE EVERYWHERE!

.....Everywhere we go, we can see Chinese people. It’s like they are already part of our society and seem normal. Most probably you have friends and classmates who look like Chinese but are actually Filipinos. With so many Chinese people migrating to our place, it’s no wonder many people today have some Chinese blood on them even if they are Filipinos. And I am one of them. There are many instances that people ask me if I am Chinese. Some are even surprised when they realized that I know how to speak in Filipino. My father’s father who is my grandfather is a pure Chinese. I never got to meet him because he died before I was even born. But nonetheless I knew some things about him through my papa’s and lola’s stories. One of the things I can remember is that the reason he went to the Philippines is because life in China was hard so he tried to find a new life here. It didn’t really leave a mark in my mind before because what I always think when it comes to China is that it is a successful and beautiful country. Especially after seeing on the television the opening and ending of Olympics that took place in Beijing, you would not think that many people there are suffering.

.....After attending the seminar about, “Chinese Everywhere,” it took me some time to finally accept the reality about China. I never knew that the largest emigrant group in the world is the Chinese emigration. It has been said that over 62 million by the latest have spread to 150 countries around the world and 18o million for the last 20 years. Wow! They prefer the North America and other Western countries but because of the large public demand for jobs, they also migrate to other places like Australia, Israel, Dubai, Italy and many more. Unemployment and underemployment have been increasing each year so many Chinese are really desperate to find job opportunities in other countries even if it means they have to migrate illegally. Many want to work abroad hoping for a better life with higher wages. There are even villages where families are ashamed if their male member in the right age is left behind.

…..I have learned that just because they simply want to leave China that does not mean they can. Emigrating from China is a complicated and lengthy process mainly because many countries are unwilling or unable to accept the large numbers of people who wish to migrate. Oftentimes only the elite Chinese families can go. The students and scholars get to go to different countries legally to study and scientists are able to attend foreign education and research institutions. Others who can go legally are either because they have relatives in abroad or they have the skills a country is in search for. But not all are given the opportunity and are qualified so they use illegal migration. Even if it’s illegal, it is not for free because they still have to pay the smugglers who will help them. Some of the money they will pay will be used to bribe authorities to get them legal visa cards, passports and identification cards needed.

…..Smugglers globally are creating a much bigger industry because of profit and profits increase every year due to the demand. They may be helping them how to migrate to other countries but once the immigrants enter a country, they have no access to regular labor markets and the benefits of labor-protection law. They are forced to work underground. Their sufferings do not stop there. Even if they get jobs on companies, factories and in other businesses, they experience discrimination and deterioration of labor standards. There are also Anti-Chinese laws that make it difficult for the Chinese to own lands and find work. When there is a slow economic growth, immigrants are the target. They do not have political power and so the government they work in take advantage of them for their own advancement. Many people blame them or accused them of something they did not do out of resentment. Despite the fact that there are signs of growing anti-Chinese sentiment in many quarters of the world, the government of China is practically doing nothing. You can see the logic that the more Chinese leaving, the lesser the population and the lesser the unemployment, the more money. The government benefits from the remittances of its citizens abroad and can get as much as US 20 billion dollar a year. No wonder!

…..All these things go to one question, “Why are the Chinese leaving when the country is starting to modernize?” Prof. Peter Kwong said that the pressure of migration is at its largest when the country starts to modernize because there aren’t enough facilities and jobs. Also, the competition is tremendous because of the population. I was confused by his statement because I thought that when a country starts to modernize, there would be new job opportunities for there would be new companies and other business sectors that will grow. I also thought the businesses will bloom because more foreign countries will invest in their lands and there will be other new transactions. That’s the way it should be, right? But as I analyzed the situation, I realized that when a country starts to modernize, it does not immediately rise. It faces many risks and failures first. Many people lose their jobs because a lot of industries and companies close perhaps due to the sudden change of the economy. Some businesses may be a boon to many towns and people and very profitable to some investors BUT NOT ALL. Some will continue to grow and prosper, while others face a much harsher future. Before a business becomes successful, it encounters many difficulties and problems and sometimes bankruptcy. During the modernization period, big changes are experienced by the people and by the country itself so it needs to become stable first and adjust to the current situation before it can actually bloom. Chinese development creates social displacement so it really takes time.

.....While listening to the seminar, I can not help comparing Philippines and China. In terms of migration, it’s like we are only talking about one country. I understand more what the Chinese are experiencing and realized that they too are suffering from severe poverty, many unemployment and underemployment, corruption in the government, overpopulation and other sufferings. I thought only third world countries suffer these kinds of things. Millions of people from both countries are dying of hunger, do not have shelter and barely have clothing on their bodies and are uncertain if they will still survive another day. I also thought that their government is just and far away from being corrupt base on what I hear and see that the people there are disciplined and strictly follow the laws. I was wrong. Political corruption there is also common just like in our country. No matter how powerful or unpopular a country is, you can always find a hole in its system. It is never perfect. I never have given much thought about it before because in the Philippines almost all the Chinese people I knew and heard about were successful and rich. Most of them are businessmen who own huge malls, restaurants, hardwares and etc. so my image of China was positive. I guess I was over generalizing.

.....Another factor that made me generalize is the fact that wherever store you go, almost all the products you buy are made in China. Even if you are in America and want to give pasalubongs, you would recognize that a lot of them look original and made in U.S. but are actually made in China. Truly, their mass production in almost all sorts is indeed big because of their immense population working in their many large factories. It’s like China is invading the whole world! Sometimes I wonder how come the prices of products in the Philippines made in China are actually cheaper than the same products bought directly in China. It is supposed to be more expensive. But I learned that the real reason is that many of the products we buy made in China here in the Philippines are usually smuggled and free from the taxes unlike in China where taxes are added to the original price.

.....Well anyway, I was glad that I attended the seminar because I learned so many things about China. I thought I already knew enough about China but realized that I have been ignorant to what is really happening there and their economic status. I have become more aware and updated about the present status in China and at the same time, I got to see its similarities with the Philippines. Both economies are decelerating. Filipinos are not the only ones suffering from the economic crisis but many other countries in the world as well. People migrate not only from the poor nations to the rich, but from the poor to the less poor nations. They will do anything just to live and have a good life. I won’t be surprised if more than 50% of the owners of businesses here in the Philippines are foreigners, specifically Chinese. That’s how dominant they are now. Wherever you go, there will always be Chinese...no doubt about that!

word count: 1564 words

MY JOURNEY IN LIFE

2009-07-06T06:50:00.000-07:00

MY JOURNEY IN LIFE

Prologue

.....What’s happening mama? Papa? I don’t want to go. They said we have to because papa has found a great career in America. They promised me that I will enjoy it ‘coz the neighborhood is good and we’ll have a beautiful house there. I have to leave my loved ones and friends and all the wonderful people I’ve met here. This can’t be happening to me. I can no longer continue my education at the University of the Philippines. The iskolars ng bayan would be continuing their studies there and as for me, I will have to go to another prestigious university in U.S., Harvard University. It may seem such a privilege but it’s never gonna be my home. It is truly breaking my heart. What about my dreams and promises for my country? Nothing’s gonna take that away from me, you’ll see. Someday I’m going to live my aspirations right here in the land where I was born to love and serve..so long Philippines…at least for now..

.....Let’s see. 1, 2, 3, 4… wow! It’s been 8 years since I last visited my own country. Perhaps I was too busy with my studies and my career as a successful and well-known lawyer that I hardly noticed it. I mean who can blame me? I have so many big cases to handle and almost no time to enjoy the benefits of my work. Despite the large money I get (when I say large-it really is!), the challenge and fun of being a lawyer, and all the privileges, there’s always something missing. Everytime I win on a case, at the back of my mind there’s that Mr. Conscience asking me if I’m really happy serving and defending the rights of other people and not my own people. Flashes of childhood and college memories in U.P. occur once in a while. Oh I admit, almost everyday. It has become clearer and more real each day. It only means one thing. I MUST GO BACK. I forgot to tell you my parents already left for the Philippines for 2 years now. I did not go with them before because of my so-called wonderful job. But now, even that can no longer stop me from going back to my home.

3 weeks later...

.....“Ehem.,kuya, hanggang dito na lang po. Keep the change na po. Salamat!” the driver smiled at me. I left the taxi with a smile in my heart. Oh how I missed those smiles. In the States, many people looked down on me because I’m a Filipino and they usually have that serious and hard face whenever I asked directions or even gave a tip! Well anyway, I’m not in the mood to complain about that ‘coz I’m very hungry. I want to eat adobo, kare2, inasal na manok, sinigang na baboy and a whole lot more in just one meal. If I can.haha While walking, I suddenly stopped in where I was standing and my heart started to beat faster. Oh my gosh! Could this be true?I saw a banner and it said, “ Congressman Joseph Estrada for vice President and Senator Mike Arroyo for president”. They were voted as congressman and senator respectively in spite of all the corruptions they have done?! You must be kidding me. This is hilarious. Is this now how the Philippines is running? Is the system too corrupted that people are already blinded and controlled by it? I must go to UP Diliman immediately to know if it too is corrupted. Forget about my growling stomach. This is way more important. I run as fast as my feet can.

.....As I was riding the jeepney, there was a list of fares posted at the back of the driver’s seat. Good thing there is because I don’t know anymore how much it is now. But then as I was studying the list, I was again shocked. It says that the fares are according to your weight. The heavier you are, the higher the fare you will have to pay whether you are a senior citizen, student or an adult. I must say this is ridiculous, so to speak. We are talking about discrimination here! This is so unfair. I was just behind the driver so I asked him since when was that law implemented. He told me since the last survey that 75% of the people age 15-60 are obese. I did not notice it before but as I observed the other passengers, I saw that almost half of them were really fat. What happened? It wasn’t like this when I left. I know many Filipino people are fat but not like this. It seemed so typical here that it doesn’t stand out anymore. I guess the society already accepted the BIG Fat change. I never imagined my country will be like the states of Massachusetts were more or less 75% are obese too. I wonder what caused all these. Hmmm.,it was still a mile or so from UP but I already went down the jeep because I suddenly had the urged to walk so that I could exercise. I want to maintain my healthy body you know.

.....While walking, I tried to absorb everything around me. There were new malls and a whole lot of new restaurants specifically fast food chains in almost every corner of the streets. It’s kind of funny that wherever the food chains are, there is always a drug store beside it like the Mercury and South Star drugs. It’s like they are prepared already to provide you what you need before and after you enter a restaurant to avoid high blood pressure, fight the cholesterol and fats and other illnesses. There were also many salons. So far the salons I passed by were always full even if it was not a weekend. It seems like it has become a necessity to the people. There were signs that say, “The outside matters more than the inside,” “You can have the beauty you want!” and many more nonsense words. The standard of beauty of the society has changed. I hope the people won’t be brainwashed by it and they would be proud and happy whatever physical traits they have.

.....Anyway, I planned to take-out some food on the way so I entered a resto with the name, “The bigger the better.” The choices were many. I was surprised to see that a burger cost 200 even if it was labeled small. It better be good. When I saw the burger, oh boy was it huge. It looked like extra large. I informed the cashier lady that there was a mistake but she told me that small was supposed to be like that. I saw the lady on the other line ordering a much bigger burger than mine..whoa! No wonder obesity is already so common. The moment I went outside the resto, little children were blocking my way, asking for food. It was unusual to see them begging while wearing almost brand new clothes. Out of curiosity, I asked them why they were begging for food when in fact they had new clothes on. It was also branded. Penshoppe. Pink soda. Bench. They immediately reasoned out,
“..kasi naman ate bigay lang po ito nung mga matatabang tao. Sabi nila ang suwerte raw namin kasi di na sa kanila kasya yung mga damit na minsan lang nilang nagamit. Kahit ate medyo malalaki sa amin, meron kaming masusuot. Bago pa!o di ba?”
“Ah.ok.o sige, ishshare ko na lang itong burger ko, tutal di ko naman ‘to mauubos sa sobarang laki.”

.....Despite the abundant food some people get, many people were still suffering from hunger. The children looked like hangers with those large clothes on. They were malnourished. Many things have changed but the poverty was still the same. Worse perhaps. Behind the new high buildings were the squatter areas. It expanded from the last time I saw that place and I can see even from a far that garbage was all around their houses. They were used to it. They have no place else to stay than the garbage place of the factories and food chains. Hai..

.....When I arrived at the university, I rode the TOKI and went directly to my own supposed to be college for 4 years which was the College of Arts and Letters-CAL. I was so glad that the fare was still 6 pesos and not based on the weight of a person. That’s what I call fair. I felt at home looking at the familiar places. The tambayans, the street foods, one of my fave place which was the CAL library because I feel at eased there, mr. oble(haha), and the sunken garden. I did not expect to see any of my blockmates ‘coz for sure they have already graduated unless they took masteral degree. But I did saw one of them. This day never stop surprising me. I saw a classmate of mine and she told me that she was a professor in sociology 10. She seemed so happy and contented with her life. I asked her why and she told me because it’s a joy serving your own country and opening the eyes of the youth. I was inspired by what she told me. I thought about my career at U.S. and realized that I don’t want to work there ever again. It’s been a long time that I thought it over but now I am making a decision. Life is not just about being rich and having a good life. It isn’t bad to serve other people but isn’t it more satisfying to know that you are serving your own land? My heart is where I was born. I remembered my promises and I will not break them. I will keep on fighting for what I believe in. The government may be corrupted but I know not all of the people there are. I honestly believe there is still hope. In our own ways we can help our society. In our own ways we can set an example of what justice and discipline mean. The change starts within you…

Epilogue

.....“Salamat ma’am! Marami talaga akong natututunan sa lesson ngayon. Mas napapamahal ako sa sariling kong bansa at namumulat ako sa mga pangyayari ngayon..”
“Your learning doesn’t stop there. Share your knowledge with your friends and through the net and inspire them too. You’d never know that one person can touch and move the hearts of many people..”

.....That’s what I said to my student. Oh by the way, I have practiced law for 15 years in my own province but now I am teaching law here at the University of the Philippines, Diliman and it has been for 10 years now and I am planning to continue this profession until I retire. I am happy with my work. Listening to the minds of young people and learning from them too. I love what I’m doing. I don’t really consider this as a job but a commitment. Some of my friends questioned me why I chose what I have now than my old life abroad where I had a luxurious life. The only thing I can tell them was, “the happiness I feel serving and loving my own country can never be bought by the wealthiest man on earth because my heart is already rich with joy knowing that in my own simple ways, I am keeping my promises.”

-------35 years after-------

.....Now I know why my mother died smiling. I closed her journal book and went to my children, ready to tell them the wonderful life of their grandmother, my very own mother, Christine Joy G. Co. :)

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word count:1954 words

vandalism picture

2009-06-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

there's more to vandals..

.....This picture really caught my eye. I know vandalism is wrong but I kinda agree with this. I am annoyed every time I see vandals on walls, chairs, comfort rooms and almost everywhere but come to think of it, some have sense. Behind the foul words use, there is truth in it. And as you see, most of the vandals are about our society especially about the current issues of today. Most of these are negative and direct to the point. They reflect what kind of society we have. Just seeing vandals show that many people are not educated. Some feel good when they get the chance to write on walls or they just want attention. Many people are not disciplined and are suffering from severe poverty and so crimes increase each day.

.....It’s no wonder a lot of people go wild and outrage nowadays. I mean who can blame them really? I know we should all be responsible citizens but is the society doing its job too? Such corruption!sigh..when will this ever end? I’m so tired listening about the crimes, poverty, unemployment, abuse, abortion and so much more everyday. We must do something before it’s too late! Everyone of us must move and care for our society. Don’t be blinded by the reality. Don’t act like everything’s okay because it’s not. We are part of the society and we have roles to do. Be a role model not just to kids but to everyone. What you do can either break or make the society, so watch your every step. I believe it’s not yet too late for us to change for the betterment of our home-society.

Word count: 277 words

How to be a Successful Iskolar Workshop

2009-06-28T02:56:00.000-07:00

How to be a Successful Iskolar Workshop

.....I was hesitant at first to attend the workshop tackling about how to be a successful iskolar because my friend won’t be going with me and it will end at 7pm. But then again, it was an opportunity I mustn’t miss and besides, it was exclusively for freshies. This would help my inner SELF.

.....I’ve learned that you must let others see you as who you want to BE and not on whom you want to ACT. If you want to be cool, BE COOL. Do Not ACT COOL. Don’t pretend to be someone else because you can achieve more if you are just being you. I see this in the society. Many people act to be the best or the greatest but hardly deserve the title and so in the end they fail and the society hates them. Like for instance, our current president today, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, she lets people see that she has done so many significant and remarkable things during her presidency and puts a lot of sugarcoating on her faults. Hugh! Smiling her sweet smiles to the people but hides the real desire of her heart. If she really wants to be respected and loved by the people, she must BE one!

.....Well anyway, so much for that. We all have a goal in mind. And to reach that, you should have your mind, body and heart on it. Think, act and feel your goal. You must also know the obstacles in your life and learn how to deal with them. Problems will always come and it’s natural. You just have to find a way how to solve them. Also, set your priorities and know what’s needed and what’s not so you won’t get distracted.

.....Now that I’m in college, there would be plenty of activities and organizations to join and I must be careful to choose the things that will benefit me and make me a better person. This is not just in college but in real life as well. Don’t easily get carried away by the things you see and hear because what you see will not always be what you get. Life is no joke. I am not saying that I wouldn’t be enjoying my college life anymore because I will. Oh boy I will! You can do that while knowing when to say no or yes to matters.

.....All the things I’ve learned are hard to do without God to guide and help me. I should know what His plans for me are because He always knows what’s best. As a first year student, the road to my dreams is still a long way to go and I am ready for it. God is with me. With God, I can do anything! I will keep on going. I will fight for what I believe in. I’ll do things in my own simple unique ways… and I’ll just BE TINTIN in this world.

Word count: 491 words

The Promise by C.W. Mills

2009-06-28T02:50:00.000-07:00

The Promise by C.W. Mills

.....After reading the, “The Promise”, my sociological imagination has widen-up and new eyes opened. I am just a student but it is my responsibility to be aware and understand the things happening around me because I belong to the society. I have the capability and the ability to make a big change in peoples’ lives. I should not just keep on absorbing everything I see and get but rather stand and think for myself to really know the truth of knowledge. The promise of a good and peaceful society depends on me, depends on you and depends on us.

.....We need to develop a way of understanding the interaction between individual lives and society, biography and history and self and world. We don’t live in this world to be alone and not care for others or the place we live in. We are here to search deeper in ourselves and know our purpose in the society.

.....I still have many things to explore and discover and I can only do this if I have a sociological imagination that can fly all over the whole wide world.

Word count: 186 words

i've learned..

2009-06-28T02:38:00.000-07:00

i've leaRned!

.....During my first day in Socio 10 class, I was kind of nervous and quite ignorant of what this subject was all about. So when we were asked what we expected in this class, I said that I wanted to know more on how being a Filipino really means and that what I can do as a student to help the society. It was just brief but meant a lot to me. I so want to learn many things about our beloved country, the Philippines. Some also have the same expectations as me and some different. Our professor told us that in this subject we have to expect the unexpected and go beyond our limits. I was really touched by the saying that the greatest disrespect you can ever do to a class or the professor is not being late, absent or saying foul words but rather not sharing your knowledge and ideas and keeping it all to yourself. You are depriving your classmates to learn. I will always keep that in mind.

.....We had a group discussion to differentiate learning from schooling, answering the questions what, how, who, and why. Just a simple topic but needs a lot of analyzing and criticizing. There were many differences and the one thing that describes it best for me is that schooling is an imperfect method of learning. It’s true! It’s not always that you learn inside an institution or you always understand the lessons because there are many factors that can affect your studying like if you don’t like the professor especially if he or she is a terror, if you are faraway from the school so instead of using that time for studying, you have to use it for travelling and by the time you’ve finally arrived in class, you can hardly participate because of tiredness. As of learning, there are no limitations to where your mind wants to go and reach. Indeed, the best way to learn is through experience. The lessons will not just be from memorizing and reading but from actual experience and for sure that will always be in your heart.

.....I believe that everyone can learn if you just will it. You must have that burning desire to keep on learning and let not obstacles hinder you but challenge you more. No matter what your status in the society is, we are all equal and have the right to know the truth of everything happening to us. Don’t ever think that just because you hadn’t got the chance to finish high school or college, you aren’t capable of making a change. A big change. We must be… be aware. Be alert. Move!

.....My first session was a memorable one and I’m thrilled by the idea that socio 10 will make me understand more the issues nowadays, teach me how to see things not just on my perspectives but others as well and to know and understand more what nation, self and citizenship truly means and how it can make a huge difference in my life.

Word count: 510 words

extended vacation..or extended anticipation?

2009-06-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

extended vacation..or extended anticipation?

..hey!here i am again at what i call my true home having an extended vacation or extended anticipation would be better.,waddya think?haha

..you have no idea how stunned,shocked,overwhelmed or maybe just simply surprised when i heard the news that our classes is moved to june 16 which was supposedly be
june 9.,whoa! mom and i were just finished shopping [dipper(tabo),soap container, hanggers, containers]-all pink.,weee!hehe and other personal things.,we were just about to eat when alfredie texted me about the DOH advisory concerning about the influenza A(H1N1)..you know the rest.,the bottom line was there won't be any classes that coming Tuesday.,the anticipation of meeting new people, fun orientations, activities were of course postponed too,.hai., but it's okay,i enjoyed my stay at UP even if it was only for a short while..besides, i got to have bonding with my mom.=)

..oh well,i just have to make the most of it.,when we traveled back home i was with rou, alfred and our parents.,it was fun,.the van kept stopping to buy foods and to eat.yum.,japanese corn!buko pie!hehe

..despite the disappointment i felt, i'm actually enjoying my another week at home.,reading, relaxing, sleeping late and waking-up late,exercising,eating good food(i hope the food at the dorm will be good too but nonetheless, whatever the food will be, i will it heartily.,yeah!hehe).,i'm gonna enjoy the remaining days here in Naga with my family.,oh boy i will!

.,thank you so much Lord for everything.,you have a reason why you want me to stay at the ilang2 dorm rather than in Kalayaan.,i can't get everything i want but for sure i will get what i deserve and what You want for me.,i just got to be strong.,Love You so much Lord God!!^_^ ..

..anticipations.,expectations.,hopes.,dreams.,there's nothing wrong with them.,as long as you have faith and believe that anything is possible!=)

i won't change anything in my life!

2009-05-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

i won't change anything in my life!

,.Heyya!it's been quite a long time since i wrote here.,atleast for me.,i don't think anybody would even notice..lol.haha
.,.i don't use the computer as often as before.,i'm not addicted to it anymore.,yeah!most of the time i just read.read.and read.,i never get bored you know.,there's so much more to read in this world.,yeah!hehe i already finished reading the twilight saga which consists of twilight,new moon,eclipse and breaking dawn.,full of romance and action.,go Edward and Bella.,perfect couple huh?while reading these books, i've experienced diff. emotions.,i got emotional too.,it's like i was in the story myself.,sometimes i felt like i was Bella., i also got stressed-out at times because so many times Bella should've died but were always saved.,Jacob was also cool in a different way compared to Edward.,

..i rested for a couple of days from reading books because i took care of other things.i'm gonna read again tomorrow.,i don't know what i'm saying anymore,.all i talked about are books.,haha

ok.,i'm gonna put one of my fave songs here.,i super duper like this song.,love the message,the rhythm,the singer,the video and everything about it.,hehe listen and watch the video and hope you'll love it too.,^_^

La La Land
by Demi Lovato

I am confident but I still have my moments
Baby, that's just me
I'm not a supermodel, I still eat McDonald's
Baby, that's just me

Well some may say I need to be afraid
Of losing everything, because of where I
Had my start and where I made my name
Well everything's the same in the La La Land machine

Who said I can't wear my converse with my dress
Well baby, that's just me
Who said I can't be single and have to go out and mingle
Baby, that's not me... No no

Well some may say I need to be afraid
Of losing everything, because of where I
Had my start and where I made my name
Well everything's the same in the La La Land machine

Tell me do you feel the way I feel,
Cause nothing else is real in the La La Land appeal

Well some may say I need to be afraid
Of losing everything, because of where I
Had my start and where I made my name
Well everything's the same in the La La Land machine
Well I'm not gonna change in the La La Land machine
I will stay the same in the La La Land
Machine, Machine, Machine

I won't change anything in my life
(I won't change anything in my life)
I'm staying myself tonight
(I'm staying myself tonight

.,very inspiring huh?i love being myself.,i hope you feel the same way too.,
.,stop joining the crowd and just be yourself.,you are unique and wonderfully made by God.=)
.,YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!^_^

baby flappy ko!

2009-04-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

bAbY fLaPpY kO!hehe

...hey!i woke up at around 10:30 this morning and as usual my family's gone already..mama and dad went to office and ate and kuya to school., my lola is downstairs watching t.v. while me,you already know..writing to you dear bloggy!haha

...the main reason why i feel like writing today is i want to talk about our family dog named Flappy.,he is named that because his ears are very big and flap everytime he's jumpy or moving a lot..oh by the way, he's a duschund.. the kind of dog with a long body but is short in height.he really is cute i must say.=) .,i will not use "it" but rather "he" because he is more than just an animal to us.,aawww..hehe

...after i ate my breakfast i went at the back of our house to check-out something and i saw Flappy in his dog house lying.,

"Flappy ko man yan..baby pa man yan!" that's my usual greeting to him..and usually when i greet him he will immediately stand and want to play with me but not this time., it's like he seems so tired and just staring at me with his cute chinky eyes(it's like i'm decribing a human being huh?haha)..i patted his head and scratched his body while talking to him. Some may say he's just a dog for crying out loud but he's not just a dog., he has been a part of our family for 8 years now and it's almost half of my age., he has always been there for us, protecting our house and never gets tired playing with us., i know he messed-up a lot of things sometimes like our plants in our garden because he wants to burry his bones in different places of it,.naughty dog!haha ..he bites into pieces our "welcome home" mats and many unforgivable acts.. just kidding!of course we forgive our beloved pet.,=)

..i'm gonna miss Flappy when i leave for Manila.,it comforts me to know that despite the many changes happening around me, he's still there.,ready to wag his tail and to let me scratch his belly.,love taka Flappy ko!i hope he would live longer so that when i come back, he will still be there to greet me and put his round little nose on my feet., i will not say that this post is a tribute to my dog because he's still alive but rather a testimonial of how precious dear Flappy is to me.,if only he can read this post, but he can't so the best way i can show how i appreciate him is by spending more time with him.,

..by the way, i have 2 poems here that i've made on my elementary years specifically grade 6.it's quite funny..hehe it's dedicated to my dog Flappy..=)

Feelings..

i'm really sad
'cause my day was bad.
i'm totally happy
'cause i have a pet named Flappy.

another one,.

MY PET

look at those tiny paws
that have very short fur
he's only just a puppy
but he always makes me happy.
he's as sweet as the honeybees
do you know who he is?
he's my greatest pet named Flappy!

..hilarious eh?i still have lots of other funny poems that i also made in my elem. years..hehe but i won't tell you..haha

..i guess that's it.,bye bloggy!hehe :P

things change but memories won't..^_^

2009-04-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

things change but memories won't..^_^

..i can finally say that i'm already a graduate of Naga City Science High School., a place where i fell,cried,got hurt so badly,laughed,danced,sang,learned so many things and loved.. i love this school because of the people here..teachers,schoolmates,batchmates,classmates and my dearest friends.,pati na rin sina ladyguard,Cho boy,.sir Alferez.hehe si tita beth pa pala..i can so much remember when i was a freshie until sophie that i always ate at tita beth's place during lunch time and i'm so gonna miss the yummy cheese sticks and "ubod" after dismissals..hehe

..i'm gonna miss the library!hehe when i've got nothing to do, i just go there..i also talked to Ma'am Ema the librarian..love you ma'am., i'm excited because in UP,there would be bigger libraries and more books to explore and read..hehe but of course my high school library will always be a part of me., i even told myself that when i already have a work and and is successful,i would donate aircons for the library so that it wouldn't be so hot there especially during the early afties.,

..i'm gonna miss the vacant periods where we just hang-out outside the classroom and observe the people walking around and just about anything..going to the canteen,.my favorite spot there is the drinking station..know why?i drink lots and lots of water..i even made a club called "aquamarine club" which included me,rou and shayne when we were still sophies.hehe i don't drink soft drinks..it has been 2 years and 3 months since i last drank softdrinks..who can beat that?hehe i also don't buy junkfoods in our canteen..only biscuits and other stuffs..i just want to be health-conscious.. but the problem with me is that when i'm at home and there's junkfood,i am tempted..must control myself..haha
..anyway so much with the foods..haha i will also miss the ambidex,"white table" nung freshie, the back of the Physics lab,and the TALISAY..awww..this tree has been so memorable to me..whenever i looked at this tree,it gave me inspiration to keep on standing.,to be strong and never give-up just like it.,

...not once in my life did i regret being enrolled in this school.,i've become a well-rounded girl and i am now more capable of handling the responsibilities that will come my way in college..you just have to be strong girl and always look-up!i will and always will because God never fails to keep His promises,.i will meet new friends..new enviroment to adapt to,new institution,new professors,so many other "news"..there will always be changes..nothing remains forever., but no matter what happens,the memories and the friendships will always remain..

..many many years from now,we will have our own families, own homes, and own experiences with other people we haven't met yet.,unexpected things and surprises will come.,BUT we can make our future just like our pressent..a present where we are still very close to each other Zephy.,it's in our hands if we really want to make our friendships last.,

"once you've loved someone, he/she will always remain in your heart..and that's why Zephy will always remain in my heart..i promise!^_^

my graduation party.,the best zephy ko^_^!

2009-04-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

my graduation party.,the best zephy ko^_^!

yehey!!!!hehe maugmahun na maray.super!thank you Lord for everything..the Graduation party was successful and very happy..wow!so many people attended the party..xempre..batch party ata..haha sir jonatz(our adviser and batch coordinator) and mam carandang(TLE teacher) also came..
...enjoyun talga..nagkarakan sa balcony taz ang iba sa sala..yung iba namn sa garden..picninc!hehe and xempre todo-picturan..hehe thank you dad!siguro bukas ko na lang iaupload..ang dami..100 plus shots..hehe
...i did not feel the emptiness of my stomach all through-out the party..i was so busy..i just wanted to make sure they were okay..now i know i how it feels when you are the host..but it was all worth it..i had so much fun..we had so much fun!

..nasupog talaga ako kang pinadalan itong sa js prom..they kept on insisting..well they are the guests..ayaw ko namn kasi na sa akin nakafocus..anyway di namn dapat ako mgpaapekto db?kahit siya pa yung kasayaw ko..haha

...ngkarantaan sa karaoke..contest2 man daw..hehe nanggana ata sina zelita..basta dakul sinda..tinao talga ninda gabos ai..go!may premyo pati..hehe yede may 500 sinda.pag pigbaranga daw to pigpirira na lang?haha ice cream!ice cream!hehehe

...ai eu palan..sa baba, sa garahe ngtipon2 kaming buong batch..sabi ni papa kantaun mi daw yung batch song namin..aawww..at the beginning...we formed 3 circles,holding hands..sir jonatz was inside the circle..hehe innermost,inner and outer..we sang at the top of our voices while kuya JJ took a video of us.we also sang the NCSHS march..and the .."bubuka ang bulaklak,dadaan ang reyna..sasayaw ng cha2 ang saya2.."haha sir jonatz was the reyna..hehe i can't stop laughing about the boxing thing..it was so hilarious..sir jonatz wore the boxing gloves and dad took a picture of him with many different poses..hahaha nonstop talga ang picturan..pati paguruli sige pananggad..pati sa kotse..sa balcony.,sa garage.,sa sala.,sa kakanan..wee!!!hehe

..sinulit mi talaga ai to the max!..hehe ang pigdinner ko na lang cake..pero okie lang..dae pa ngani ko nagugutom talga until now, 10:54pm..hehe
..i'm so gonna miss Zephy..so many memories..last day na lang saaga taz graduation na...excited ako na garu habu ko pa...parting is such sweet sorrow indeed!i don't want to say farewell..it's not yet the end..we'll see each other again..hehe

..salamatun talaga zephy ko sa pagattend..really appreciated it so much..i will never forget this day..the laughters..so much happiness..
...thank you soooo much God!!!i love you!i love you!..you made this night memorable..thank you for my family who've supported me unconditionally..ate drix and kuya nomeer.,thanks to them..sila ang nasa kusina all throughout the night..thank you.thank you!
...padangatun ko ang zephy..what a journey it has been..and the end is not in sight..really..truly it's not yet the end...love you guys!mwah!hehe :p

my family has been with stars..hehe

2009-03-29T06:20:00.001-07:00

..my fAmiLy has beEn with the STARS!hehe...

i am so overwhelmed right now!hehe i've never expected this night to be so memorable..weee!!hehe our family ate outside to celebrate my dad's birthday this coming march 31. it's all you can eat chinese foods at the 4th floor of Avenue..the foods were good..so many choices to choose from..i didn't finish the chicken because it was spicy and half cooked..i'm not good at "cold cuts" foods..we ate and ate until i was very full already..i thnik i was the first one to finish my meal.so i just read a book while waiting for them..hey don't think that i'm a nerd.i wasn't reading all the time..just to make the time faster..hehe

..well so much for that..when we were going to the parking lot we saw a tour bus stopped by..we thought they were just typical foreigners who wanted to visit and eat at Avenue..we passed by them but then we suddenly halted at our place..oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!! mga artista!!weee!!hehehe so shocked..really..we saw rica peralejo,donita rose,and edu manzano.wow!!

..naliun ako noh?well what do you expect?..bihira lang ako nakakakita ng artista in person..hehe we had our photo taken together with rica and donita..they were so kind and they didn't mind at all..sayang we didn't had the chance to have a shot with edu in it..tsk3.hehe

..we taught they were going to the place we've eaten because someone mentioned to us that there were 25 slots reserved..good thing someone told us that they were going to eat at lady crab..we went to see it and boy there were many people outside taking a peek inside and taking pictures of them even though there was a glass blocking them..we also took a peek and kuya kim was there..i always repeat his lines whenever i got the chance to watch the news.."ang buhay ay weather weather lamang"..hehe when kuya kim went outside my dad called him..kim!kim!kim!..it was funny..hehe dad took a picture of us with kuya kim..yehey!

..i will never forget this day..i have been with the stars..waaa..nakakapay na ako..:P and what made it even greater? i was with my family..i wouldn't have enjoyed it that much if i didn't have my family to share the happiness i've felt..=)

...i can never get enough of surprises..just love them!surprises always spiced things up when you least expected it..^_^

closure

2009-03-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

cLoSuRe...

naging malinaw na saku gabos!..so happy..i've waited for this time for a very long time..the questions and the confusions i've felt is now clear..
...last night was the RAKRAKAN 'O9 which means battle of the bands..hakot award batch ko..astig ang ZEPHY!!!hehehe they were so great..the champion was the "champola",..all of the members had a best award..beat lead,beat bassist,best rhythm,best drummer and best vocalist..wow!no wonder they've won..the 2nd place went to the "accident prone"..no doubt they were so good..i like the way Zelita sang the songs and the overall..the 3rd place was awarded to "woodstock!"..i've missed this band..i thought they will no longer continue their band..

,..so much for that..anyway,i have finally talked to Nacky personally..He and his sister, Mae attended the event..so glad to see them..i thought i would be so nervous when i saw Nacky after a year of no person-to-person communication..but i was wrong..i felt so easy and very talkative too when i greeted them..hehe Nacky and I talked about a lot of things..at first general topics..about the school,the happenings,the people.,etc..after the rakrakan we talked about personal things and the questions unanswered for so long..i opened-up and he also opened-up to me..he explained everything..i also saw "dory"..he passed by us..i congraulated him..before i knew it he was behind me and he was pointing Nacky and trying to say something..i can't really understand what he was talking about..i wanted to introduce him to Nacky but he immediately left..tsk3..

..after the conversation..in the end he asked me,"am i forgiven?"...i just nod..kahit noon pa man pinatawad ko na siya kahit sobrang sakit pero ngayon pinatawad ko siya ulit with an "ok" heart and "ok" mind..honestly.,bitin yung time..dami pa akong gustong ikwento..it's been a long time na kasi..sabi ko nga sa kanya,"ibahun noh?ngunyan pinag-uulayan ta na lang ang past and si mga nangyari na.."

...i told him that when i go to college i am really determined not to fall in love again..he told me it's impossible..i said that i may fall but i will control it..very much! we made a deal.,he is sure that i would fall in love in manila..but i won't.i won't.i won't.

..right now, i also badly want to have closure with "dory"..i want to talk to him and clear things out before it's too late..before i leave for manila..be sensitive namn and linawun mo man saku gabos..

..sigh..

what a night huh?hehe

2009-03-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

...what a night huh?..hehe

..i have to be indenpendent..i'm all alone here on the upper part of the house,,lola and ate drix-our helper and a closed friend of mine, are downstairs already sleeping..sshhh..hehe

..just want to tell you my story last night.it was kind of funny..hehe
..we were planning to have night swimming because it has been a long time since we last swam and hadn't used much the membership privelege of my mom at avenue.my father was having their elder meeting and my sister was very tired so it left me,mama and kuya to prepare ourselves for the night swim.i was kind of excited because i wanted to execise my body and just relax and released all the stress i encountered for the past few weeks.i also want to have muscles and to be physically fit..hehe

..when our car passed the outside of the swimming area, we saw that there was an event going on.we can't just possibly go there and swim..too embarrasing..besides,i think the area was exclusive for the people there..we were disappointed..so much for the excitement..aawww..

..but then again, we can still eat ice cream..yehey!weee!! we went to cold shack and i ordered the usual:my fave double dutch and rocky road..yumm..slurp..slurp,.hehe it was kind of embarrasing because there were many people inside and our outfit were..well you know..the kind when your goal is to swim and now to eat outside..plain slippers,shorts..i even kept on teasing my kuya:nice shorts..hehe we had fun..

..it was ironic..really..we went out to exercise but the opposite happened..we went out and gained more fats in our body..hehe tsk..but it's okay..we enjoyed it and was satisfied when we went home..hehe what a night huh?hehe ^_^

stressed-out..haha

2009-03-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

stRessEd-oUt

..i'm feeling much better now.=) i can't believe it.it was just early this evening when i felt so down and sad..i didn't know what to do but i kept on praying and singing the song,"God will make a way"..He really does make a way,.He never fails me.God is so good..
..i am supposed to have a sleepover on my research groupmate's house-Celine, so i asked permission from my mom.my mom allowed me to go after explaining why i should really go.it's urgent because we will submit it tomorrow for the final clearance..so i readied myself,. my father asked where i was going and i told him..my father immediately said no.he said it was already late and it's too dangerous to go out at this kind of hour.it was around 7pm already. i insisted very hard..i said it's very important., mama realized that dad was right. they don't want me to go especially because they were also leaving together with my ate and kuya. They are going to Manila and i'm left behind.it's not that they want to leave me but i just can't go because i still have classes and matters to attend to like our clearance..and i want to spend the remaining days with my batchmates,zephyrus., main reason why my family is going to Manila is to visit UP Diliman..to submit the other requirements for my admission(love you ma and dad!) and because my kuya is also planning to transfer in his 2nd year., i guess i will go and visit UP this april.
..anyway,i was feeling down because i truly want to help in the editing of our research but wasn't allowed to go out. of course i have to obey. i know they are just concerned about me. i'm their bunso and they don't want to worry too much about me when they go..so i understand even if at first i kind of "tampo".hehe

..so i texted shayne that i'll just online in my ym even until in the morning to help..but another problem occured!!no! our computer was broken. this can't be happening..my brother isn't here to help me out and to fix the computer..i texted him on what to do. he gave me instructions and kept on telling me to be independent and keen. oh boy! relax tin.you can do it..the computer screen doesn't want to open so kuya advised me to use our laptop and just attach the internet cable there..ok take it easy tin.. i looked for the wires needed and the right holes where the plugs are to be inserted.. i found it quite hard because i wasn't familiar with the stuffs and everything..i told myself,"don't give up tin.God will make a way..keep on going." in the end i managed to find everything and is now connected to the internet..and that's why i can tell you my story right now.hehe
..i'm happy because i managed to help my groupmates even if it was a simple task. i know they are wide awake just like me right now..hehe love you shayne,celine,marou,rani and mara(grupong tsinelas)..hope we can really have a sleepover in our house this summer before we part ways..and it's all gonna be pure fun with no research works included..hehe :P

..thank you so much Lord for everything..=)

cry,laugh or love..no regrets at all..^_^

2009-03-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

cry,laugh or love..no regrets at all..^_^

i will never forget our recollection yesterday..it was supposed to start at around 8 am but i arrived almost 9..tsk..late! i run and run together with Jan who was also late..hehe he brought a stroller bag..aaww..so cute.. i remembered my childhood years..
flashback: when i was still in elementary at USI, i always asked myself how come the high school students no longer used stroller bags..and how can they possibly put all the things they needed for school in just one tiny eenzy-weenzy bag..haha i even promised myself that when i go to high school, i would still used my beloved stroller bag and will not be ashamed of it..hmp! it's funny thinking about it now..hehe i can now answer the questions that lingered in my mind for quite a while..i can't imagine going to school using stroller bag unless there is camping or some sort of event needed it..but maybe it would be cool though to feel like a little kid again..sigh..

ok..enough with that..back to the present.. good thing they were just starting to introduce themselves..oh by the way it was by section..i belonged to 4 - Watt..
but it's okay because they hardly started..you have to introduce yourself together with a thing o event that you can compare with your life..guess what i chose? a dog..hehe why? because a dog is easily entertained and becomes so happy whenever its master spends some time to play or even scratch its belly..just the fact that the dog is beside its master is already enough..just like me, i value my friends so much that a little time from them can make me so happy..aawww..=)

...anyway, the sessions were okay..we had group story based on our real life..it's true that God raises us up in every trial that comes our way..we may feel like it's the end of the world..like there's no tomorrow..as if the storm won't stop..no way dude!don't ever forget that God loves us sooooo much.. everything that is happening to us has a purpose and it's part of God's will and plan..there is always HOPE as long you keep on believing that God is hope..the source of strength,love, joy and of everything..padangatun ko po ika GOD na maray na maray!i'm so happy that i can talk to Lord Jesus anytime i want to,.i don't have to use special words just to impress HIM..i can open-up to Him entirely my whole life without hesitation and awkwardness.. i just have to be me.. i'm so glad i have a personal relationship with you Lord..no one and nothing can ever take away that relationship...=)

....i learned many things from the recollection..i will always be a true friend..trust,sharing, openness, acceptance and forgiveness are important in a friendship..

...what i like about most was the last part..this is where i got emotional..very emotional indeed..the faci,kuya christopher, told us to released our "kulog buot" or rather aches inside us that have been kept for so long..hiding it won't make things better..we must be open about it in order to reconcile and patch things up..personal communication is the best solution..kuya told us to write the people we have inward and hidden aches with on a paper and wirte whatever we were feeling..i did not know what to do first..i wasn't angry with the people i was thinking of but just pain inside...i wrote two people who i've loved but have been hurt in the end..i wrote all the hurts,the struggles,the insecurities thinking that maybe something was really wrong with me, and the cries of my heart..i released them all..while i was crying badly..
..but despite of it all, i let go of the hurts..i forgave them..i was glad because the first guy and i are good friends now and i hope we would have our personal closure this friday during our "rakrakan".. while with the second guy,.the wounds are just freshly healing..it's still quite fragile but i can now manage..i wrote to him or shall i say to my 'lil bro, "i love you so much but this time i will really let you go., i love you goodbye.." that's all there is..i can now faced the reality. all want is just closure from both of them.that's all i ask for.. the truth is i don't want to fuss myself with love from a lover..i just want to be friends with them.seriously..friends na lang talga..=)

..our section gave messages to the class..i told them that behind my being corny and funny is a girl who is very serious when it comes to loving them..in short" seryoso ako sa pagpadangat saindo watt".i only joked around so that i could see them laugh and be happy..=)

...when arthur spoke up and told us about his health condition,i think all of us cried..it hit me so bad!! i thought i can no longer bear it.."dae.dae..tanu? tanu ni nangyayari?."..so many questions whirling in my mind..i was wailing..huhhuhuh i leaned on the lockers and my body was curled-up with so much pain..arthur is my seatmate and even if we became closed only this year, he's one of my closest guy friends..i love him very much as a friend..i pray to God that He will give Art strength to fight and never give-up..i told myself,"binayaan na ngani ako kang duwang guy na pindangat ko,pati ba namn siya iyo man??" NO!that won't happen..i love him with no feelings attached.i really value my friends sooo much.. never lose hope in God..He can make miracles..Lord, you have reason for this and i believe in you and trust everything to YOU.i hope Art is also feeling the same way about You..and that he may always feel Your love and presence..thank you Lord..i will not stop praying for him.^_^

...so happy because the TSINELAS was reunited..we formed a circle and had a group hug..aaw..missed them so much..we will see each other in UP and have sleepovers for 4 yrs or more at the dorm..hehehehe weee! i hug my batchmates,classmates..friends..thanking them for making my life in high school ever so great..it's been the best..

....so many memories to hold on to..i do not regret anything..not a single thing at all..for everything that happened to me has been an important page to complete my high school life story..whether i cried,laugh or love..no regrets at all..^_^

WHAT A NIGHT

2009-03-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

...it was all weird last night..i went to bed around 1 am.,boy that's late!but it was okay because i woke up in the morning at around 10:30 am and quite slept in the afternoon for atleast an hour..

..my body was tired already and i had an headache..not feeling so good..i turned off the lights and tried to sleep...tiktak.tiktak.tiktak,.tossed over here,tossed over there..turn off the electric fan.,cover myself with the blanket..and guess what?? i can't sleep!! i relaxed myself.,relaxed my eyes and thought of happy and sleepy thoughts..i can do this. i've experienced this before and in the end finally slept.,but why isn't it not working now..i looked at my cp clock, it was almost 2am..this is not good.,i must do something, the best solution i could think of is to go to my parent's room..haha
..i squeezed myself between my mom and dad.they were soundly asleep.,i hope i can sleep now esp. because there's aircon..i relaxed my body and closed my eyes again..i cleared my mind..Zzzzz??? nah!i can't sleep..huhuhuh time was running so fast..the next thing i knew, it was almost 3am! my mom was awaken by my movements.,i said,"ma, i can't sleep no matter how i try to.,what's wrong with me?maybe i have insomnia.,=("
...my mom said relax and suggested that i eat downstairs and drink milk..maybe that's a good idea.that would calm down my nerves..

..i went downstairs and ate the remaining refrigerated cake even though it was still quite frozen. i was lazy to heat it up.,haha i also drank milk and after that went back to my mom's room.,my mom said she can't also get back to sleep..oops!sorry ma..
..she just watched TV while i tried to sleep.,i hope the food i ate was effective..i'm waiting..it's not working! mom shared with me her biscuits.,i ate while lying in bed and closing my eyes..good thing i did not choke..naughty me..hehe
..there was only one left solution i can think of.,this better work or else..haha i got the book i was reading(baby-sitter's club mysteries) which i borrowed from the library and continued reading it..after a while, my eyes started to feel sleepy.,how could i not think of this solution? i just love to read books and always keep on reading until my eyes can't take it anymore.,i should've thought of this..

...good news, i finally dozed off after 40 years..yehey me!haha it was almost 4am.can you imagine that?this is the first time it ever happened to me and i hope it won't happen to me again.i am such a nocturnal person..i'm very active at night and love to sleep in the morning.weird.haha as a result, i had migraine today.this is also my first time.while we had our practice in CAT, my head was throbbing badly and felt so dizzy..God gave me strength to carry through and went home safe and sound..thank You Lord!

..what a day it has been..time check, it's already 12:17am right now.better sleep and end my post HERE..^_^ Sayonara!

...

2009-03-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

♥ alL ab♥ut mE

I am the kind of girl you don’t see everyday..yeah..hehe I am happy and well-contented in life.
I love my family.
I love my cousins.
I love my friends.
I love my batchmates-Zephyrus(aww..will miss you guys..)
I love you..just kidding.haha
I appreciate even the littlest things because what’s important is the thought. I also easily get touched by things.
I am…

Talkative…blah.blah.blah..hehehe

Imaginative..usually when I’m alone I like to imagine about things..colorful and beautiful things…=)

Humurous or some may say corny.. it’s true..i just want to make people laugh or just even smile because seeing them happy makes me happy too..^_^

Fun to be with.. sometimes serious but I know how to run a party..(ows?hehe)

Lovable and sweet..(totoo?hehe) I want to make my loved ones and friends feel special always and I care for them..sooooooo much!

Jolly and positive thinker… I always see the rainbow after the rain..
i don’t give up easily and I always look at the good side of every person no matter how mean they are to me and I try to understand them.

…and most of all…

…TRULY UNPREDICTABLE…
..there’s more to me than meets the eye and I hope someday, when I love again..
it would be with the man who can make my life more unpredictable than ever and full of surprises..aww..sweet..^_^

sooo hApPy!!wweee!hehe

2009-03-12T04:03:00.000-07:00

overjoyed!hehe

ssoooooooooooo happy today!!!hehehe i just feel so light and no worries to pull me down..of course everyone has problems to deal with but hey, they are part of our lives and they make us strong..i've learned to be always positive no matter what. nothing can ruin my day.. i have my family, friends, and all my loved ones..

..i have my batchmates: ZEPHYRUS.,weee!!hehe padangatun ko kamung maray..and that's for sure..seeing them laughing and enjoying themsleves make me feel so good.. i have these special people in my life who have completed my high school life..

..when we had our voting for our batch song..the "at the beginning" won..it's okay.it's cute..but i voted for a different song entitled,"Kanlungan".i really like the message..one main reason is because it has sentimental value to me..i always remember my sweet cousins everytime i listen to this song.. miss you mae and aby!!!

Ang mga puno't halaman
Ay kabiyak ng ating gunita
Sa paglipas ng panahon
Bakit kailangan ding lumisan?

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

...maggraduate na kami..maibabalik pa ba talaga ang kahapon?..another chapter to be unfolded..hai..that's life..oh my! i feel like crying..just a while ago i was bursting with happines..well, i still am happy but i just can't help thinking that hey this is it..no more turning back..we must face the present..the past will only be memories to cherish and never be forgotten,.

..so many memories..i can't help but smile..dito ako ngkaroon ng first love ko..yede..haha, then 2nd love..meron ba niyan?haha my point is Science is where i have loved so much and where i've got hurt badly and maybe been fooled?but they are just lessons to learn from..and you know what??i did! oh i did!that's also another reason why i'm soooo happy..hehe i can really say that i'm not hurt anymore..i feel so free.. i'm not affected anymore.. pag nakikita ko yung recent..wala na..i am whole again.. i won't let anyone break my heart again.. kaya kung sino man ngpaplano ibreak ito ulit, well..SORRY.,hindi na ako mgpapaloko..hehe :p

...i see the good side of every person no matter how bad they've hurt me and that's why i still trust them but don't expect na 100 percent pa yan..i easily trust people but once you break it, it would be hard to regain and even if you try to fully regain it, it JUST WON'T BE THE SAME.=)

....sigh..so contented in life..thank you so much Lord for everything..God has opened my eye..he wasn't the guy for me after all and so glad that God had warned me before i will enter my college life..i don't want to live in false hopes and lies..

...i guess that's it..i hope the one reading this as also happy and i hope i've inspired you somehow..if you have problems, cheer-up ok? God won't ever leave you because He loves you.. i truly hope that you'd also experience the kind of happiness i am feeling right now..SMILE and take a leap of FAITH.^_^

anOtheR sTory...hehe

2009-03-11T02:59:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER STORY..hehe :p

...it's me again.hehe...
what to say? oh yeah...we didn't have classes today. yehey!haha it's because the sophies will have their National Achievement Test today and our room will be used and also because our exams are already finished..the only left thing for us to do,the seniors, is to take care of our clearance and clean our room.. of course we deserve even just a one-day break..right??hehe

..i am sooo happy because this day wasn't wasted. it has been very fruitful indeed because i had accomplished many things..things i need to comply with the requirements in the UP Health service..let me tell you my story. oh boy!you don't know how unpredictable this day had been..hehe

this is my story:

..yawn.. my mom kept on waking me up..i begged her that i will just sleep a little longer..pls..still so sleepy..Zzzz..hehe but my mom insisted because i had to accomplish and take care of a lot of things like having an eye check-up and changing my eyeglasses and when mom told me that i will have my chest X-ray taken, urinary test and..and..and.. BLOOD test..my mood suddenly changed. i was not sleepy anymore. if there's one thing i really don't like is having my blood taken and being injected..noooooo!!! my mom joked that it's okay because it would only be one pail of blood..what??i just woke up so my mind wasn't in the right order.. i unexpectedly cried..very hard..i pleaded that i don't have to have my blood test taken because i'm healthy and all sorts of reasoning.. my ate also joked that i don't have to worry because it would only be a glass of blood..huh?? i wasn't in the mood to laugh. i was taking everything seriously..i kept on crying..lessoon #1:don't joked around when i just woke up because you don't know how i react to things.hehe

...my mom said that they were just kidding and it only felt like a bite of an ant and it would be very quick.. she would also will go with me so help and comfort me.. i was deeply touched because even if mama still has office and has to travel to Ragay, she sacrificed some time for me..awww..love you mama!

..to make my story short, when we were already at Mother Seton hospital and the lady nurse was already looking for the right vein..i was so scared and nervous and was holding my mama's hand tightly..the nurse went to my other arm but i can see that she was having difficulty looking for my vein..it was so funny..haha she told me that my veins were deep and she can't do it so she asked the boy nurse and asked him to do it..i told myself,"this is it.no more turning back!"
..i can't bear look at my arm. i looked on the other side and when the boy nurse was already taking my blood, i felt a little bite of an ant and i was still waiting for the worst but it didn't come..before i knew it, i was already laughing at myself. it actually didn't hurt after all..i was overcome by my fear and nervousness.. i'm so glad it was over.=)

..everytime i remember these things, i can't help but smile..hehe it's hilarious because when we left the hospital, i wanted people to see my left arm where a small bandage can be seen. it was like a great achievement to me because it's my first time..even when i was in centro.,i wanted to show them.. i was so silly..hehe

..this is another story in my life i can never forget..so to those who are going to have their blood tests taken especially to people entering college and have this as a requirement, don't worry, it would be just one pail of blood..heheheh :p =D

my heart is smiling again.,=)

2009-03-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

MY HEART IS SMILING AGAIN..=)

i don't feel well.. i'm aching physically.. "MAKULUGUN..Huhuhuh".. i just wanna cry but it won't do me any good..my right ear is swollen..you can't see it b'coz it's inside. i feel like my ear is throbbing and ringing so bad..hai..when i'm in school, nobody can really notice because i don't show them that i'm in pain.. only kha2 knows..one of my best buds., i've taken medicines just as the doctor prescribed and i hope it would heal soon..good thing i can still hear clearly.,

..i feel so weak but i know God won't leave me and will give me strength always.,i must be strong..God is the greatest healer..i'm happy because i'm only aching physically..i'm no longer aching emotionally.. i have move on.hai naku..boys lang yan..haha i have really learned so many things when it comes to love and every time i fall, i learn to stand up. i like the song invincible with the lyrics, "i was damaged by the fall, got the wind knocked out of me.,to be strong and beautiful.,i must be INVINCIBLE.," =)

...i value LOVE so much..love from God of course, love from my loved ones, friends..and the one that makes you smile for no reason at all and makes your eyes dreamy..corny much..hehe but hey, it's true. well, i've experienced that before. it does feel good to be in love and when i love, i love seriously.,i am NOT a playgirl.,when i love somebody, i really do. i don't give false hope and i don't ever want to hurt the guy.,honestly, i have loved twice in my life.,and i am always the one being left.ouch! i am always left hanging in thin air, broken.. maybe some would say it's just infatuation and maybe you're right..as young as i am right now, i haven't experienced all the things about love in this world and i am far way from being expert when it comes to this matter.,i know i am not a perfect girl..never will i be perfect but my love is true. i always want to be true.. some people think that i'm so lucky because the guys i like also like me or i can get whatever i want in life..some say i have many admirers..(i am not boasting about anything.i'm just being real..)but you know what?? what's the use of having all these if the one you really love can't love you back or always takes you for granted? why is it that everytime i love, i always get hurt? i know that hurts are part of loving but it's just too much..

..maybe no guy really understands me..
..maybe no guy is really willing to wait for me..
..maybe i trust too much..
..maybe they just can't accept my whole self..

..i am 100 percent sure that God wants what's best for me. He has a love story for me that will sweep me off my feet..hehe i am willing to wait for that right time. from now on, i would treat all the guys i meet as my friends and brothers and nothing more.,=)

***my HEART has learned and will be back to its number 1 rule: NEVER EVER TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN..and this time, i'm determined to follow it and live it.,=)***

my dear bloggy,.

2009-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

MAMA'S GIRL..HEHE

it's already 11:34 in the evening..oh boy!it's very late. i must sleep soon especially because i'm not feeling well.tsk3. Good thing i slept this afternoon. There's still energy left..enough energy for me to write in my blog.hehehehe i have my own dear diary and that is where i usually show my innermost feelings and of course my topmost secrets..but this blog is okay.,and that's why i'll call you my dearest bloggy..hehe corny huh?well so what?that's me and and that's who i am.=)

...my parents are traveling right now..Mama has a convention in Manila and Dad will go with her. They will also take care of my dormitory in UP Diliman and the things needed to be accomplished. i love them so much. they are very supportive and they always want what's best for me..if i don't have my exams this week, i could have gone with them. oh well, maybe next time..i already miss them.it's true that i'm a mama's girl. as more days pass by, the more i get attached to my mother.,there are times that between my being busy, i would suddenly go inside may parent's room and hug my mom..awww.. i am the youngest of the family and sometimes my mom would tell me that she doesn't want me to leave yet. it's hard for parents to accept the truth that their children are growing so fast..but that's life..my mom always tell me that life has to move on..you just keep on going...

..i know that after this busy examination week, the reality would hit me soon..graduation is indeed near.i don't want my high school life to be over..atleast not yet..but just as what my mom said, it's hard to accept but you have to..i will not waste the remaining days of my life as a high school student and i would enjoy wearing my school uniform always.,i would make everyday as if it's the last day.,.and i would not get tired loving my fellow batchmates and showing them how they mean to me.,

..well,,i guess that's it.,i'm kinda tired..(yawn!! :o - that's me oh..hehe)
..i will end this now before i get too corny.,heheheh
..gudnyt.,sleep tight., don't let the bed bugs bite,ok? haha =)

MessAgE anD inPut BoxEs..=)

2009-03-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

Creating Message and Input Boxes

It is important that you familiarize yourself with the different buttons and icons displayed in a message box and named literal so that it would be easier for you when making the codes. Don’t forget frames first before the control buttons!hehe You first create the frame then put the button like the Label or Command button inside it. If you do it the other way around, the frame will cover the buttons and would be of no use. Also, instead of using the named literal, you can use the counter value of it to save time and make things simpler.

In making the codes, you have to be sensitive even with the smallest details like the spaces, when to enter, the commas and the quotation marks used because it can entirely affect the whole program. Moreover, don’t just merely create message and input boxes, because just like what I’ve said before..be creative!hehe put graphical designs like your own pictures in each box and as a background to make it more exciting and pleasant to view. Never stick to basics only. Always make things more beautiful as possible as you can..^_^

I’ve also learned to be careful in saving my program because before, I didn’t know that I only saved the form and not the whole program so the next time I tried to open my file, it didn’t. An error occurred. So always remember to save both the form and the whole program. Just like in the real world, you always have to be sure and save what you can to avoid regrets in the end..=)

cOmpuTeR prOgRamMing??

2009-03-01T05:36:00.001-08:00

cOmpuTeR prOgRamMing??

Computer Programming isn’t just instructions telling the computer exactly what to do or to perform specific tasks. It’s way more than that. It is about learning how to design programs and make them the way you want them to be and knowing the proper solutions to the problems you encounter.

When we were tasked to create a program called the “slot machine” using Visual Basic 0.6, I was truly interested because it was a game we were going to make. That would be so cool! Yehey! Hehe... it may look like a simple game, but it’s not easy to program because you really have to be careful and critical in following the instructions especially the codes because one mistake or one mistyped symbol or letter can bug the whole program. Another thing is that you also need to be creative and unique to make the slot machine enjoyable and not just simply changing of color backgrounds. I have learned that you can not just put any design you want. In our program, there was a “click here buy now” sign and it didn’t even have any link when you click it. If you want your program to be humorous, at least make a website link so that the player could relate to it or else it would be considered a bug..Tsk3.. lesson learned.=)

Mixing up the RGB color values of some menus is hard especially because we’re not experts and that is why I advise that you to visit the painting program because it can help you to easily distinguish the appropriate values for each color for it is already shown there.=)

One activity can give you so many lessons already. I admit that it took me and kha2 a lot of our time just to finish the task because of so many obstacles on the way..hehe it was even quite an adventure..haha First of all, our computer was broken..it didn’t want to open-up so one day was wasted waiting for someone to fix it.. The next day, when it was already fixed, we found out that it doesn’t have Visual Basic..oh boy!tsk2.. We did not give up! We had computer hopping(just got the idea from island hopping.hehe : p) until we finally decided to be joined with Audrey and Marj. I thought this time everything would turn out okay. But then again, I was wrong! Everyday, it was always a coincidence with our section (4-Watt) that every time it was around 9:20 am, brownout always occured..just when we were about to save our program. It took a lot of patience out of us. It was not even easy saving our file because the computers by then can’t save the files permanently. It was always renewed every time you shut down the computer. We saved it in my email account, but when we try to open it the next day, an error always appeared. Hai.hai.hai.. I thought we can’t bear it anymore. I had no idea that one little task can make you so weak(drama!haha).. well to make the long story short, despite of it all..we made it!!!! We finished the activity or rather we FINISH THE RACE!weeee!hehehe